38 Week UPDATE!

Well, 

Today I turned 38 weeks pregnant!

To celebrate, I got off the couch, showered, blow dried my hair and pulled out my camera for the first time since we moved!

… Well for that, and I needed to go to the doctor for an appointment today. 

My appointment went well, 

I'm already 3cm dilated!

Now that really surprised me because, even when I was in the hospital with broken water with Easy, I was still only 1cm. I had to work for every cm I got with him. 

Now don't get me wrong, I knew I HAD to be a little dilated… I mean I have not been comfortable…

AT. ALL. 

(p.s - I am clearly not wearing a maternity shirt in these photos… it looks about as stretched out as I feel!)

the doc offered to give me a "sweep" to move labor along. (i'll go ahead and let you find out what that is, if you so desire)

BUT. 

I declined. 

for a couple of reasons. 

First off - I have to go to Calgary… Tomorrow until Sunday, for a very important reason:

My BFF is getting married! I have been looking forward to this since over a year ago when she got engaged. heck, since we were in high school! Its going to be an amazing event. (and, she's a nurse… who doesn't want to deliver a baby at their wedding??) now what the heck am I going to wear??

The other reason being… I hear it hurts, AND… you could get a baby out of it. 

Don't get me wrong, as desperate as I am for this uncomfortable pregnancy to be over, Im still terrified to be a mom of two. I constantly worry that I just can't do it. 

I was induced with E when my water broke. I was uneducated in the way that, I felt I had no choice. The hospital told me that because my water was broken they couldn't send me home and HAD to induce because I wasn't dilating. I came to learn later that it can take more than the 30 minutes they gave me after my water broke, to produce contractions… they just wanted to hurry up the process. 

As a result of that, I feel I missed out on an experience that I could have had. the feeling of natural contractions, and my body doing what it was designed to do… not what it was forced to do. 

This time I want to go into labour on my own. I want to know what its like to feel my body doing what it was always made to do.

Now, I'm not crazy, I still will probably get the epidural once I've had enough of my body "doing what its made to do"

But I think I just want to prove to myself that I can do it. that my body does know how to go into labour. Im willing to let myself go overdue again to experience it. 

The hormones are getting to me, I think. 

Well, there it is - 38 weeks and I'm limping around from round ligament pain and a pulled muscle, peeing every 6 seconds, constantly in a braxton hicks contraction and STILL taking nausea meds. 

Complain much?

xx - R

a little update

Well, 

That whole "blog more" thing I mentioned a month ago? ya, that hasn't really worked out how I planned. sowee. 

Turns out bed rest is exhausting!

Just kidding, its not hard... just… hard to do. 

I have had incredible help from people from my church and my amazing sister, who now only lives a couple minutes away from me! I have had sitters coming a few hours a day to play with Easy and ease my guilt about not being able to play with him as much as I wish I could. 

I am currently 37 weeks and 6 day pregnant! 

On Wednesday I will be 38 weeks!

Here is a 37 week picture

and this one from just a couple days ago

If you didn't notice already, I have exactly ONE pair of pants that fits me, and I'm partial to the colour black right now…

And these photos are only from when I am going to leave the house….

my favourite outfit of all time right now is gym shorts and one of T's shirts. 

I think I was hoping that, with my complications, that the baby would have come by now… it just made sense to me in my head you know? So daily as I get heavier physically, I get heavier emotionally as well. I didn't want a premature baby, of course… but 37 weeks is good right? RIGHT?

Its also taken me some time to get used to a new routine. Back to being a stay at home mom, and now a stay at home mom with limitations. I used to be able to shop and cook and clean and blog and go to the park and hang out with friends and cuddle my husband till 1am because I was in such a good routine! now its more like, scrambling to get out from under laundry and sit on the couch and cook freezer meals and don't blog… just because. ugh. 

My body is sore. Everything, including the baby is sitting SO LOW because of my prolapse, and most likely a bigger baby. If I am on my feet for too long, I'm walking like a cripple within minutes. I literally feel like my hips might break apart and run away from me because they hate me so much. 

So this kid and I sit around a lot. 

actually, strike that…. I sit around. he goes NON STOP. honestly he's covered in bruises and bug bites and scrapes… it almost embarrassing… almost, but its not - because I love that I have a messy rough little boy… I love it so much more than I thought I would. 

Since moving into the new place, we have procrastinated a few important things… 

Like, setting up a room for the baby? a place for him to sleep?

This is off to a good start. 

BUT

Last weekend We, ( well, T under my supervision) hit it hard. We got everything all ready, even hospital bags packed and car seat in the car! It was such a relief to finally feel like we were bringing home a real baby. its a hard feeling to explain, but I have a really hard time picturing the thing in my stomach causing me so much discomfort is actually a tiny human that I'm going to be bringing into this world and bringing home in a matter of days probably weeks.

But I think were ready! I think...

I PROMISE there is another update coming after my appointment on Wednesday (38 weeks) I will be checked for progress and hopefully have good news! 2 weeks ago I was between 1-2 cm already, which is incredible for me because with Easy, I was totally not dilated at all when my water broke (apparently that doesn't happen very often) I wasn't ready to go into labor. Come on BC2.0… lets get this show on the road!

xx - r