This and That

Mommy confession: 

My favourite part of going to the gym, and most of the reason I'm so diligent, is because I can leave my 2 kids in child minding for 2 hours while I sweat, then shower, then get myself ready for the day without a baby crying in my ear or a toddler sitting on my feet. Seriously… the other day I threw the boys both into child minding, skipped the workout and sat in the steam room for half an hour before I showered, took my time getting ready and felt refreshed enough to pick up the hooligans and take them home to face the rest of the day. some days are like that. Its okay… right? 

.WEIGH IN. 

My weigh in this week was deffinately not what I expected for my first week back at the gym, I worked my CAN off and only lost 0.4 pounds at my weigh in. 

I was a little dissappointed to say the least. I didn't even get out of the 170s! (By 0.8 pounds) and I worked harder than I have in... Well, almost a year! 

And I'm trying really hard to not get discouraged, its a hard balance between eating enough to make milk to breastfeed, and eating enough to lose weight too. I guess all I can do it keep working out, keep eating right, keep feeding my baby and hope it will keep SLOWLY (emphasis on a big eye roll there) coming off. 

Current weight 170.8

My goal by December 1 is 160. 

And my goal by the new year is 150.

As the numbers get lower, I know it is going to be harder to get the pounds off, and as winter hits its going to be hard to not eat my whole house instead of going to the gym. 

But i'll power through. I'm blessed to have a sister who is a GURU in the fitness industry and has helped me get into the gym without breaking the bank and motivated me with her amazing bod. 

In Hud news:

Hes (kind of) rolling over!

Im happy with this because he HATES tummy time, like, either lays there like a dead fish or squawks until I come roll him over. 

Other than that my little 2 month old is adorable… I mean seriously. 

We have our 2 month checkup tomorrow and will see how breastfeeding is treating him! I stress sometimes that he is losing weight again because the control freak in me that doesn't know how much he is getting at a feeding thinks its not enough. We will see!

Oh, and he's losing his hair.

I knew it was coming… but I get sad every morning I find little blonde hairs on his mattress. 

In Easy news, 

He got a haircut!

I woke up one morning and just said "T…lets cut it all off" I think it looks adorable.

Easy also has a checkup tomorrow. He gets the results of his hearing test, and the ECHO and EKG we had done last week. 

Of course I'm a little nervous, but I feel confident that everything is fine. E's a normal kid that is just quiet with a little innocent murmur. He's my little boy and he's perfect. 

But keep your eye out for an update either way!

xx-r

Successes and Failures

This last week or so has been filled with ups and downs.

Up - hudson started smiling this adorable little half smile with the pirate-eye squint.

Another up… but more of a side-note

How different do my boys look? These were both taken at a week old

Easton:

And Hudson

I am so excited to see how they grow up to look, its one of the best parts of parenthood is watching your kids grow up change and become their own people.. and heck I've only been doing it about 18 months!

Down - At Easy's 18 month checkup the pediatrition informed us that the words "carrrrr" and "ga ga" would not cut it for where his speech development should be, he even used the words "severely delayed" and scary words like  "deaf" and "autism signs" - who does that? Easton isn't autistic, the pediatrition agreed with that by the end of the appointment, but Easton is going for a hearing test on Monday to rule out any hearing problems. Once any hearing problems are ruled out, we start the long process of speech therapy, which I know is not uncommon for my family, or for boys in general. To be honest? I'm not worried. I know he will get there and for now, we understand each other. It can be a little heartbreaking when he can't tell me what he wants and ends up in a screaming heap on my kitchen floor, but we're both learning. 

Up... And down? - we're finally getting an EKG and ultrasound done on Easton's heart murmur, the doctor is confident it's innocent, and again I'm not worried... But it's always good to check... Those little hearts are important! 

Isn't he precious?!?

 Up - We had an amazing thanksgiving long weekend, and even ended up getting some family photos snapped by my awesome sister in law from Jayden Campbell Photography! I just took them home and edited them 

 (click HERE to check out her Facebook page)

Down - I had my six week follow up with my OB this week and I need to do some physio, but she cleared me for exercise that didn't bother my condition... And I would know what bothered me. Another down? As of right now, I can't run. (Ouch)

Up - I lost 2.4 pounds this week! Since I started weight watchers 4 weeks ago, I've lost 10 pounds! The combo of watching what I eat, and breastfeeding is really helping me I think, but I still have a long way to go. - current weight, 171.2.

And one more BIG UP - Huds is officially a breast fed baby! After his tongue clip, within a week I was able to drop the sheild but I was still pumping and supplementing after almost every feed, another week went by and I was only supplementing some feeds and for the last week I haven't really had to pump at all unless I want to because we're going out somewhere! 

To say I'm ecstatic is an understatement. I sought out help and pushed for this breastfeeding relationship. I learned from previous mistakes and have had amazing support from friends family and even total strangers. Breast feeding isn't for everyone, but I wanted it to be for me, and I honestly didn't know if I would get that opportunity. I'm thrilled in a - "cried when the LC told me I didn't need to come back because my 7 week old is gaining weight at a higher than average rate" kind of way. My big guy is 11 pounds! 

Ups and downs are just par for the course these days. I wish I could blog more, but busy is good. 

Busy is fun and crazy and hilarious most of the time. 

Busy is my life, and I'm getting used to it. 

xx - r

Weigh In Thursday!

Well, its that day of the week again.

I went to weight watchers tonight

down exactly 2 pounds! 

I weighed in at 173.6

so in 3 weeks I am down 7.8 pounds. 

I am happy with 2 pounds. I feel like I'm eating CONSTANTLY, and I'm glad that my body is thanking me for that by steadily getting back to a healthy weight. 

I unfortunately have no pictures on this post… it feels kind of… naked. 

But I'm hoping after thanksgiving I will have plenty!

xx - r

Snack Time!

Okay guys, 

I HAVE to share this amazing, high protein snack I discovered via Pinterest (of course) 

Ta-da!

I call it... Well, I don't know what to call it... Amazing Apple dip? I've been too busy eating it to think about it.

Since on the new weight watchers plan fruit is free, I've deffinately been getting into the fruit of the season... Apples! 

I stumbled on this apple dip, tried it last night... And I'm hooked! I made a big batch today to dip into when I want to snack. It's not low In points, but I'm willing to spend some extra snack points on this, everything In it is good for me! (And baby Hud)

Here's how you make it:

One part vanilla Greek yogurt

One part peanut butter (I used the whipped peanut butter it's amazing!)

And 1/2 part honey! 

Just mix them all together and you have an amazing Snack that is super high in protein!

I just thought I would share! 

xx -r

Weigh in Thursday and *my boys*

Today was my Weight watchers meeting. 

I weighed in at 175.6 - down 1.6 pounds. 

I've lost just over 5 pounds in 2 weeks, which I feel pretty good about. Im not at the point where Im genuinely feeling good about myself… But... I'm getting there. 

Until then, I'm just enjoying these boys.

THIS boy is the busiest boy alive. 

Every day is a battle with this stinker. he's…. busy. I don't know how else to put it, he's just SO. BUSY. HOWEVER he is also adorable. He gives the best hugs and cuddles. its just that. yeah… He's busy. 

And Hudsy just…

Is. 

I forgot how awesome it is having a child that cant move away when you put him down. 

That may be why he has more pictures this post.. besides the fact that he's so adorable and kissable… 

He sits still long enough to take a picture. Easy is about 2 feet out of the frame, or behind the camera trying to break it AT ALL TIMES.

Despite having a cold, which is so depressing for a newborn because there really isn't anything you can do besides sit up all night listening to them gag on snot…

he's good. 

He continues to gain weight. he weighed in at 10 pounds 3 ounces at his last checkup!

I am getting better at the whole 

"feed and then pump and then sometimes give him a bottle and then pump and then sometimes just feed and don't pump"

Its still exhausting. just a little less exhausting as it becomes more daily routine. 

And it's all for this guy, and I'm okay with that. 

Look how fat he is!

xx - r

Breastfeeding battles and *Weight Watchers*

I will preface this post by saying… 2 under 2 is no joke. My blogging has seriously taken a back seat… soweee.

anyways…

Hud's tie release went well.

Much better than my crazy worst-case scenario brain imagined. The plastic surgeon even showed me the tie and assured me that I was making the right decision. It took about 4 minutes of me out of the room, and it was over. 

Hud was a champ. We even went to Calgary the next morning to visit family. 

I knew the release wasn't going to fix my problems with feeding right away, but by 5 days later at my follow up appointment, I was pretty distraught again.

Erika, my lactation consultant did what's called a "weighted feed" - we weight the baby before a feed and then I feed him and we weigh again to see how much he is taking in. Because I wasn't able to get him to latch still, I used the sheild. After a 30 min feed, we weighed him in and noted that he had taken about 2oz... Better, but still a far cry from his required 4oz per feeding. I pulled out my bottle of pumped breastmilk and let him eat while I talmed about more options with the LC. After 5 minutes or so she asked me how much he had eaten. I pulled the bottle up to take a look and to both of our suprise, he had not actually drank a single gulp... Nothing. And he sat there sucking away for at least 5 minutes. I left that appointment with the same game plan (feed and pump, exhausting) and a referral to an occupational therapist that specialized in the swallowing reflex, and a new pediatrition that would take a closer look at Hud in general. 

Now as dramatic as I'm making all this sound, I know there is nothing terribly wrong with my son. He's a healthy boy who is (now) gaining weight and sleeping longer stretches and is very quiet and sweet. I just want to do everything I can to get him the breastmilk I think is best for him. We will get there, I feel sure. 

On Thursday a couple weeks ago, I took an hour and turned my attention back to myself for a second. I went to my first ever Weight Watchers meeting. 

Some quick stats for you here:

I started this pregnancy 20 pounds heavy, at 160lbs. 

I gained a hearty 47 pounds by delivery and sat at 207lbs. 

3 weeks post partum, at my first meeting - I weighed in at 181.4.

Game on. 

The complication this round, is that I have to wait at least until my 6 week follow up appointment, probably longer, before I can work out. My prolapse unfortunately was not resolved by delivery. I'm ordered to still not lift too much or even be on my feet too long, until my body is recovered, and we check everything out at my 6 week follow up appointment. 

So for now it's all about my diet. 

And I think it will work okay for now! At my second meeting, I weighed in at 177.2, a 4.2lb loss! We will see what this Thursday has to hold. My requirement of "points" to eat daily is high. Much higher because I'm breastfeeding and much higher than what I'm used to eating normally. I'm finding myself with lots of points left at the end of the day! (I know, poor me!)

Easy has been in his toddler glory lately.

He loves his baby brother. Like, loves him so much he could squish him. Literally, I need to keep an eye on those two at all times!

As we inch closer to the "terrible twos" I wonder if we are already there. Easy isn't the greatest talker at 18 months. He's mastered "dada" "gaga" and screaming and pointing. It makes for a frustrating relationship at times, one where I wish I was more helpful...or a mind reader. I have a feeling we have a bit of a road ahead of us with our quiet #1 son. 

All in all I love my boys. My boys are fun, and tough and sweet and sensitive. My house is filled with cars and dirtily clothes and Thomas the tank engine. I love Easton's gappy smile and Hudson's soft hair and dark blue eyes.  I love my boys and everything that comes with them.

XX-r

The Tongue Tie. Again.

Well, here we go again.

As I mentioned in my birth story, it was indicted in the hospital that Hudson may be having trouble feeding because he had a possible posterior tongue tie. *Easton had a tongue tie at birth, it was corrected and I was never able to successfully breastfeed) I shed so many tears in the first 8 days of Hudson's life because I just didn't know what was wrong, was it me? Was it him? Either way, Hudson wasn't getting the good he needed from me. all I wanted to do was breastfeed my children. I know its not the end of the world… but something important to me.

I reluctantly started pumping a few bottles a day. I knew something was wrong when I would try and breastfeed, even with a shield for an hour or more, and then watch my newborn guzzle a bottle with as much milk as an entire feed should give him. 

The hospital sent a referral to specialized nurse practitioner that could help diagnose Hudson's tie and suggest treatment.

Because Hud was born before a long weekend, I had to wait until he was 8 days old to get into this appointment. Those 8 days we're torture. I tried not to bottle feed, because I didn't want him to get confused, or get so used to the bottle, that he wouldn't ever want to feed from me again, I just couldn't picture my life pumping full time again with a 1 year old. I nursed and nursed and nursed, but he never seemed full. his Jaundice picked up and his diaper output was decreasing. 

When the day of the appointment came, I was anxious. They had me put him in a clean dry diaper and weighed him.

Hudson was born at 8 pounds 14 ounces. 

Today he weighed in at 7 pounds 15 ounces. 

I was devastated. The guilt that come over me all at once was horrible. How was I trying to hard, and essentially starving my baby? I know it is normal for a newborn to lose some weight, but it should never be more than 10%, and they should be back to their birth weight by about 10 days old. 

Erika (The nurse practitioner) came in a few minutes later and immediately looked into Hudson's mouth and under his tongue. 

She identified, as they noted in the hospital, a posterior tongue tie. it looks something like this:(I pulled this off of THIS WEBSITE - It has the best information about tongue tie classification I could find)

She explained to me that Hudson could latch well, but because his tongue is essentially tied down, he can't use it to suck properly, so he has to use his check muscles to suck, which is exhausting. What I was interpreting as "milk drunk" was actually him just too exhausted to keep trying to feed. he fatigued out in a matter of minutes and just couldn't eat anymore. 

Then we made a plan. she scheduled a "release" for this coming Thursday with a plastic surgeon at a hospital here in Edmonton. until then we needed to get his weight back up. Every 3 hours I feed him off of both sides using a shield (much easier for him to eat out of) and then follow up with 2 ounces of pumped breast milk to make sure he is full. Then I have to pump again to make sure that I keep producing milk, while he isn't able to drain me. 

Let me tell you after 3 days of this that it is exhausting, but I think is producing results. it helps knowing that it is not for the long term, and that hopefully after this release, I can breastfeed my guy. 

EDIT - *we weighed Hudson today and in 3 days he is back up to 8 pounds 6 ounces!*

The release has me a little nervous, its not like Easton's tie where you can just take a little pair of scissors and clip it and its done. this requires a laser to essentially burn a diamond shape under the tongue to create enough space for him to move his tongue freely, afterwords I need to be constantly caring for it, flexing the tongue up and down with coconut oil on my finger, to prevent it from reattaching.  

I had to really evaluate if this procedure was worth it. The most important outcome of this procedure is that Hudson gets to (hopefully) be able to breastfeed. This is super important to me, but I also know I could pump and get the same results for him. I did some follow up with the doctor about other possible complications of a tongue tie and she said sometimes, but not always, complications could be: swallowing problems, problems with solids and both of those problems can have high choking hazards.

In the end we decided to do the procedure on Thursday. I think it will be worth it. It doesn't mean I'm not terrified.

Huds is a happy baby. He barely cries and has taken plenty of strong "pets" and kisses from his brother. 

The grandmas took Easy this week so that we could focus on Hudson and his progress gaining weight and going to various appointments. its been such a blessing having help on all sides from family and friends. 

I have taken some pictures of Huds with my real camera… but this week is busy and my priorities (and brain) are other places right now ;)

soon!

xx - r