Breastfeeding battles and *Weight Watchers*

I will preface this post by saying… 2 under 2 is no joke. My blogging has seriously taken a back seat… soweee.

anyways…

Hud's tie release went well.

Much better than my crazy worst-case scenario brain imagined. The plastic surgeon even showed me the tie and assured me that I was making the right decision. It took about 4 minutes of me out of the room, and it was over. 

Hud was a champ. We even went to Calgary the next morning to visit family. 

I knew the release wasn't going to fix my problems with feeding right away, but by 5 days later at my follow up appointment, I was pretty distraught again.

Erika, my lactation consultant did what's called a "weighted feed" - we weight the baby before a feed and then I feed him and we weigh again to see how much he is taking in. Because I wasn't able to get him to latch still, I used the sheild. After a 30 min feed, we weighed him in and noted that he had taken about 2oz... Better, but still a far cry from his required 4oz per feeding. I pulled out my bottle of pumped breastmilk and let him eat while I talmed about more options with the LC. After 5 minutes or so she asked me how much he had eaten. I pulled the bottle up to take a look and to both of our suprise, he had not actually drank a single gulp... Nothing. And he sat there sucking away for at least 5 minutes. I left that appointment with the same game plan (feed and pump, exhausting) and a referral to an occupational therapist that specialized in the swallowing reflex, and a new pediatrition that would take a closer look at Hud in general. 

Now as dramatic as I'm making all this sound, I know there is nothing terribly wrong with my son. He's a healthy boy who is (now) gaining weight and sleeping longer stretches and is very quiet and sweet. I just want to do everything I can to get him the breastmilk I think is best for him. We will get there, I feel sure. 

On Thursday a couple weeks ago, I took an hour and turned my attention back to myself for a second. I went to my first ever Weight Watchers meeting. 

Some quick stats for you here:

I started this pregnancy 20 pounds heavy, at 160lbs. 

I gained a hearty 47 pounds by delivery and sat at 207lbs. 

3 weeks post partum, at my first meeting - I weighed in at 181.4.

Game on. 

The complication this round, is that I have to wait at least until my 6 week follow up appointment, probably longer, before I can work out. My prolapse unfortunately was not resolved by delivery. I'm ordered to still not lift too much or even be on my feet too long, until my body is recovered, and we check everything out at my 6 week follow up appointment. 

So for now it's all about my diet. 

And I think it will work okay for now! At my second meeting, I weighed in at 177.2, a 4.2lb loss! We will see what this Thursday has to hold. My requirement of "points" to eat daily is high. Much higher because I'm breastfeeding and much higher than what I'm used to eating normally. I'm finding myself with lots of points left at the end of the day! (I know, poor me!)

Easy has been in his toddler glory lately.

He loves his baby brother. Like, loves him so much he could squish him. Literally, I need to keep an eye on those two at all times!

As we inch closer to the "terrible twos" I wonder if we are already there. Easy isn't the greatest talker at 18 months. He's mastered "dada" "gaga" and screaming and pointing. It makes for a frustrating relationship at times, one where I wish I was more helpful...or a mind reader. I have a feeling we have a bit of a road ahead of us with our quiet #1 son. 

All in all I love my boys. My boys are fun, and tough and sweet and sensitive. My house is filled with cars and dirtily clothes and Thomas the tank engine. I love Easton's gappy smile and Hudson's soft hair and dark blue eyes.  I love my boys and everything that comes with them.

XX-r

The Tongue Tie. Again.

Well, here we go again.

As I mentioned in my birth story, it was indicted in the hospital that Hudson may be having trouble feeding because he had a possible posterior tongue tie. *Easton had a tongue tie at birth, it was corrected and I was never able to successfully breastfeed) I shed so many tears in the first 8 days of Hudson's life because I just didn't know what was wrong, was it me? Was it him? Either way, Hudson wasn't getting the good he needed from me. all I wanted to do was breastfeed my children. I know its not the end of the world… but something important to me.

I reluctantly started pumping a few bottles a day. I knew something was wrong when I would try and breastfeed, even with a shield for an hour or more, and then watch my newborn guzzle a bottle with as much milk as an entire feed should give him. 

The hospital sent a referral to specialized nurse practitioner that could help diagnose Hudson's tie and suggest treatment.

Because Hud was born before a long weekend, I had to wait until he was 8 days old to get into this appointment. Those 8 days we're torture. I tried not to bottle feed, because I didn't want him to get confused, or get so used to the bottle, that he wouldn't ever want to feed from me again, I just couldn't picture my life pumping full time again with a 1 year old. I nursed and nursed and nursed, but he never seemed full. his Jaundice picked up and his diaper output was decreasing. 

When the day of the appointment came, I was anxious. They had me put him in a clean dry diaper and weighed him.

Hudson was born at 8 pounds 14 ounces. 

Today he weighed in at 7 pounds 15 ounces. 

I was devastated. The guilt that come over me all at once was horrible. How was I trying to hard, and essentially starving my baby? I know it is normal for a newborn to lose some weight, but it should never be more than 10%, and they should be back to their birth weight by about 10 days old. 

Erika (The nurse practitioner) came in a few minutes later and immediately looked into Hudson's mouth and under his tongue. 

She identified, as they noted in the hospital, a posterior tongue tie. it looks something like this:(I pulled this off of THIS WEBSITE - It has the best information about tongue tie classification I could find)

She explained to me that Hudson could latch well, but because his tongue is essentially tied down, he can't use it to suck properly, so he has to use his check muscles to suck, which is exhausting. What I was interpreting as "milk drunk" was actually him just too exhausted to keep trying to feed. he fatigued out in a matter of minutes and just couldn't eat anymore. 

Then we made a plan. she scheduled a "release" for this coming Thursday with a plastic surgeon at a hospital here in Edmonton. until then we needed to get his weight back up. Every 3 hours I feed him off of both sides using a shield (much easier for him to eat out of) and then follow up with 2 ounces of pumped breast milk to make sure he is full. Then I have to pump again to make sure that I keep producing milk, while he isn't able to drain me. 

Let me tell you after 3 days of this that it is exhausting, but I think is producing results. it helps knowing that it is not for the long term, and that hopefully after this release, I can breastfeed my guy. 

EDIT - *we weighed Hudson today and in 3 days he is back up to 8 pounds 6 ounces!*

The release has me a little nervous, its not like Easton's tie where you can just take a little pair of scissors and clip it and its done. this requires a laser to essentially burn a diamond shape under the tongue to create enough space for him to move his tongue freely, afterwords I need to be constantly caring for it, flexing the tongue up and down with coconut oil on my finger, to prevent it from reattaching.  

I had to really evaluate if this procedure was worth it. The most important outcome of this procedure is that Hudson gets to (hopefully) be able to breastfeed. This is super important to me, but I also know I could pump and get the same results for him. I did some follow up with the doctor about other possible complications of a tongue tie and she said sometimes, but not always, complications could be: swallowing problems, problems with solids and both of those problems can have high choking hazards.

In the end we decided to do the procedure on Thursday. I think it will be worth it. It doesn't mean I'm not terrified.

Huds is a happy baby. He barely cries and has taken plenty of strong "pets" and kisses from his brother. 

The grandmas took Easy this week so that we could focus on Hudson and his progress gaining weight and going to various appointments. its been such a blessing having help on all sides from family and friends. 

I have taken some pictures of Huds with my real camera… but this week is busy and my priorities (and brain) are other places right now ;)

soon!

xx - r

  

Hudson's Birth Story.

On Tuesday I got my membranes swept. I had attended my best friends wedding, was 3cm dilated and ready to try anything, desperate times right? 

The sweep was painful. I'm sure the doctor knew she was dealing with a wuss for delivery as I shouted "ouch! ouch! OUCH OKAY ALREADY!" at the top of my lungs, I'm sure she prayed for the epidural when I did go into labour. 

I left the office hoping for the best that afternoon, I had some cramping and what-not, took Easy to the park and tried to do some walking. 

Later that night I started having contractions.

 Because I was induced with Easton, I really had no idea what to expect from them...they hurt, but I could talk throught them. They continued through the night but I was able to have a shower and do my hair, I was just excited that this was it, and couldn't sleep! I also took my last "tummy selfies" at 39 weeks pregnant exactly! I just knew my body was getting ready to meet my guy!

When  easy woke up a few hours later, we took him to my sisters house and headed to the hospital. At this point the contractions were consistently 5 minutes apart and painful. ( in reality, I had no idea how much more painful they could and WOULD get) 

When I got to the hospital they hooked me up to the monitor and checked me.

3cm dilated still. 

uh...WHAT? 

The nurse told me I would need to go walk the halls of the hospital for an hour and see if any progress could be made, or else they we're sending me home.

I paced the halls of the maternity floor frantically, stopping to breathe through contractions every 5 minutes, surely these bad boys had to be doing something! They HURT! 

An hour later I was back in the bed getting a check, optomisitic that we could get this show on the road, I mean, come on! I did my hair and everything! 

"I'm sorry, your only 3cm still... You need to go home and come back if the contractions get about 3-5 minutes apart"

She then proceeded to tell me that this could take days to happen... 

Uh, days? 

It's called prodromal labour. Labour that is as aggressive and painful as real labour, but doesn't produce any change to the cervix. 

I went home, distraught, and fought through contractions into the afternoon. I took a Tylenol, hoping it would do something.

Eventually, I fell asleep. 

I woke up with a sore back and no contractions. After almost 12 hours of contractions steady and strong, my labor had stopped and I was no closer to a baby then I was yesterday. 

Needless to say I was devastated, exhausted, defeated. 

My poor sister kept Easton until bedtime while I laid in bed and moped. 

Later that night the contractions started up slowly again. I cried to (poor) T, about how I couldn't do this for days! What we're we going to DO?! He consoled me that night with movies, a homemade stir fry and cups and cups of ice to chew on. 

This round the contractions were BAD.

Like, they were "mooing level" as T would call it. I would hold his hand and curl up in a ball or roll up onto my knees and breathe through them, rocking my hips back and forth.

Now, when I say "breathe" I mean, I would act like I was blowing out one million birthday candles at once, followed by an "ouch" for about a minute. 

Into the middle of the night I fought these contractions. I timed them relentlessly, but got distressed when they never got less than 5 minutes apart, like the hospital said before they sent me home. 

I told T to go to sleep as I rotated between a warm bath, the floor, the bed, leaning on the table to try and ease the contractions. By about 2 am I lost it. I burst into tears like a little baby. I woke T and told him I couldn't do it a second longer, we needed I go to the hospital and get me pain meds to deal with this "false labour" and this time it couldn't wait until Easy was awake. 

We called my poor sister again, and she came over to sleep on our couch until Easton woke up for the day. We told her we would be back in a couple hours, as we were really only going to get a shot of morphine (which I had declined earlier… stupid me)

We got to the hospital and T dropped me off at emergency between contractions "that ones done? okay great, i'll park the car and try to be back before the next one"

I walked in and there was a line at emergency. great. I assumed there was some sort of "pregnant lady rule" as I walked up to it, They have to let me in soon, so I didn't give birth right there or something... right?

As I walked up to the line I noticed that the girl in front of me was pregnant… and the one in front of her, and the one in front of her? woah. good. 

within minutes another woman in labor was behind me in line, looking as surprised as I was. 

eventually they got us all up to the labour and delivery ward. I had one of the last beds available. literally, a nurse told me that after they checked me in, they had to leave women labouring in the emergency department because there was a pregnant lady "boom" that night.

I explained my situation, about being sent home and in what I assumed was still false labour and if she could please, um...

GIVE.ME.DRUGS.

She checked me and I almost (or maybe actually did) cried when she informed me that I was 6cm!! I guess sometimes the contractions don't need to necessarily be that close together to get stronger and more productive!

this was it! at around 230am we were being admitted and I was having this baby!

They took me to a delivery room and got me all hooked up to machines and whipped that epidural into me like, super fast! I was so pleased. That man is getting a christmas card. 

The doc popped in and broke my waters (gross) and the waiting started. The epidural made my blood pressure plummet and I got a little sick and almost passed out at one point, but other than that, T curled up on a bench and I layed on my side and we both fell asleep for the first time in 2 days. 

The nurse came in an hour or so later and told me that the epi had basically stopped my contractions and they administered a little bit of pitocin to get things going a little more, like I cared, I couldn't feel anything!

At around 6am I told the nurse I was feeling a little weird. I wasn't sure how to explain it, but it felt like my epidural was wearing off, and I didn't like that one bit. She checked me and told me I was 9cm, a little pressure was normal. I will note here that she did NOT top up my epidural… which I was not happy about (jk… but really)

I asked if I could roll over, because I was getting a bit uncomfy. she helped me manoeuvre the wires and cords and I rolled to my other side. A minute or two later my doctor came in to check me out. 

She immediately said "oh, your 10cm, rolling over must have done it, here, hold these" and passed me my own legs to hold onto. I looked at Taylor who was now sitting up and rubbing his eyes and told him that unless he wanted to miss this thing, he better wake up and get over here! it was happening.. and FAST!

When I had E, I had so much epidural in my system I literally couldn't feel ANYTHING while pushing. I think I was expecting that again… but I was wrong, it was PAINFUL a tad uncomfortable. (this is where I give huge shoutouts to people who don't have epidurals…HUGE shout out… seriously)

when my next contraction came we were all set up, I pushed and made some progress. when the contraction passed, I asked if I could keep pushing… If I could feel this, I did NOT want it to last long. my doctor agreed, and about 3 minutes later, at 6:14am my little man came out and was placed right onto my chest.

He was here!

I was holding this big-ol' baby in my arms, he was finally here! I gave him a once over and noted instantly my favourite things:

1. He was big and fat!

2. he had his dads nose, which is adorable

3. he had blonde hair! (we still can't figure out where this came from, no newborns in either family have been born with blonde hair!)

I held him and snuggled him and only looked up when the doctor said "you okay dad?"

I looked at T and he was white as a sheet. for some reason this delivery took a bit of a toll on his stomach and he was NOT doing well. the doctor ordered him to sit and sent a nurse to get him a juice. T told me later that when he saw the nurse come in with juice he thought it was so nice that they had brought me juice! - Followed by some embarrassment that it was for him. I think it just all happened so fast! the nurse and the doctors joked with each other with stories of dads who had passed out at births, she had seen men to worse, I am so glad T was so supportive the whole process, he deserved a juice. 

we stayed in the delivery room a few minutes, They kept him on my chest for a long time, and I was secretly dying to know how much he weighed! when they did finally weigh him, she announced that he was 8 pounds 13 ounces and 3/4… rounded up to 8Lb 14oz! and 22 inches long! He sure beat his 7Lb 11oz 19 inch long brother with those stats! AND he did a lot less damage. hardly any actually. I felt, and still feel really good and recovered. 

They moved us into a room and the love went on from there. before anyone came to visit we got to spend a little one on one time and name the baby a name we have loved for a long time. Hudson Taylor. 

T got to give him his first bath (his favourite thing to do)

When family started coming, we got to introduce Big Easy to his new little bro. He patted him on the head, kissed him, and then climbed off the bed to get into no-good. and lots of it. 

since the hospital, Easton's favourite thing to do is pet and kiss the baby. he comes up to him all the time and smiles and pets his face… sometimes gently. He knows the baby is here to stay, and I think he's okay with it. 

I had this big plan to try and latch Hudson to me in the delivery room, try and let nature take its course, and it worked! kind-of. 

Breast feeding has been my biggest fear this pregnancy. 

Things started off okay, but slowly we realized that nursing wasn't going well for hudson, or me. He was too tired to nurse and it was difficult for both of us. The nurse noted that she thought she saw a "posterior tongue tie" and sent a referral for a lactation consultant to come see me the next morning. 

The first night was nice, they came in and took a few blood glucose tests, because he was a week early and almost 9 pounds, but he checked out okay. 

The next morning I saw the LC - She tried to correct Hudson's latch with little success, she sent me home with a shield and a referral to a more specialized lactation consultant. that appointment is this Friday. Its been a teary battle ever since the hospital on the breast feeding front, but I won't get into that right now, but this should give you an idea of how I'm feeling "sigh"

by the next afternoon, we were discharged to go home!

I took some better pictures in the hospital with my camera, but haven't had a chance to get them off my camera yet! upcoming!

Since we have been home it has been a flurry of family and love. Things have been busy to say the least, but busy in the way that we have had constant help. CONSTANT. someone has relieved me every day at least once to have a nap, or a shower, or a good cry (again, breastfeeding)

Were happy. Were a family of 4 and loving every second. 

Welcome, Hudson. 

xx - r