Would you trade it?

I hope that my son, 

As a grown man

still likes taking selfies with me. 

As he gets bigger, I want him to walk and run and play...

But never get too far away from me. 

Every day this 10 month old looks more and more like a little boy and not a baby. he's growing up and 

I.CANT.STOP.IT. 

When my emotions were running high right after I delivered Easy

I would sit in my rocking chair, holding him and watching him sleep

and I would cry.

I would run his entire life through my mind. 

There is so much that could go wrong. 

the world is such an awful place.

full of anger and hate and mental illness and sadness and tears and bad breakups and addiction and terminal illness and so many things that I just can't control. 

And in 18 (or 30) years…

I'm going to have to watch him go out on his own and face all those things. 

Just like my parents did.  

Sometimes, even now, I can't even bear the thought and I get overwhelmed by the idea that I knowingly brought an innocent thing into this angry world. 

But I try to turn it around. 

I try to remember that the world does have all of those awful things

But it also has 

friends

adventures

concerts

firsts

forevers

good times

L.O.V.E.

And most importantly…

We have EACH OTHER. 

and we have him. 

Sure. Life can be hard sometimes. 

harder than most people really think they can handle. 

but for all the bad out there… 

would you ever trade it for all the good?

xx- r