When the crying gets too loud.

Today was one of those days

One of those unglamorous days 

Probably the most frustrating of all my days of mommyhood yet. 

Hey, they can't all be happy posts right?

Easton is going through a phase. 

At least I hope it's a phase.

He wants to be held. All the time. 

and if your not holding him? its like this...

Today I made a chicken pot pie.

I started cutting veggies when easy went down for his nap. 

Or so I thought. 

Before I knew it he was up and crying to be held.

I cut all the vegetables  with my 6 month old sitting near me on the kitchen floor. 

When the screaming got too loud, I took a break and tried putting on a show. (Don't judge me... Diego is the bomb)

I Cut veggies and cooked chicken for approximately 7 minutes.

When the screaming got too loud, I took a break and put him in his jolly jumper. 

I made the sauce for the pie... About 10 minutes.

When the screaming got too loud (and I worried about a knock on the door from our downstairs condo neighbors) I took him to his room... A little exasperated at this point.

I settled him down and put the pie together. Maybe 4 minutes.

When the screaming got too loud, I unsucessfully tried to feed a bottle, rocking, singing... These all made him happy... 

Until I put him down.

When the screaming got too loud...

I thought he might be hurting.

I administered Tylenol

and,

The crying continued.

Now, don't get me wrong... By this point in Easys life, I know what his different cries are... It wasn't a hurt cry, a sick cry, or even a sad cry... It was an angry cry. 

I get it. He just wanted to be held all day... who doesn't? I realize that my awesome mother award has been closed up for some time now, buried 6 feet underground with my domestication award. 

But I just couldn't do it. I was ready to cry myself... I needed a break.

Now,

I'm going to admit something.

Sometimes you just need to put the baby in a safe place, and breathe.

I put him in his crib, kissed his head and closed the door.

I sat down and pumped.

The crying got loud.... 

My crying started....

But then it got quiet. 

I checked the moniter, feeling like maybe I had neglected my child by leaving him to cry, and would soon hear the police at my door and appear on the news as the worst mother ever, other mothers shaking their heads at my trial.

but

He was playing.

kind of like this:

 And within 5 minutes

He was asleep. 

For like. 20 minutes.

20.Glorious.minutes.

When he woke up, I had enough of a fresh head that I did hold him for a long time, we played and loved on each other.

He fell asleep again a while later (his nap schedule is messed)

I decided to make cookies.

...(*instert head-shake here)

And when the crying got too loud... 

I did it all again. 

I'm sitting in the bath while I write this.

E is finally tucked into bed for what I hope is the whole night.

I had the best intentions for today. 

I wanted to make a pie from scratch, cookies! Go to the gym! Collect my "awesome wife and mother award" and call it a day. 

But I'm in the bath, eating my cookies... That didn't turn out great, by the way. 

See, stirring in chocolate chips while you sit on the floor singing old McDonald to a screaming 6 month old can make you not as... Thorough as you should be. probably half of the chips ended up on the floor, mixed in with the several kinds of baby snacks I had tried to give E. 

Tomorrow I will try again... I'm figuring out that the awesome wife and mother award doesn't have to include a clean house and fresh baked goods every day... right?

And when my crying gets too loud... I guess I would want someone to hold me too. 

xx -r